Life is so vulnerable.

One moment you are still strong and healthy,

The next moment you are bedridden.

Found myself once again in the familiar ward of ICU of TTSH.

Seeing the tubes all over her body

And how weak she has become

Makes my heart ache.

There are people who are trying so hard to fight for survival

While there are people out there who give up life so easily.

Her days are limited.

The decision made might be a cruel one.

But felt its the best for her.

Random thoughts

Everything is finally over.

I thought I will be strong like the first time round.

But I was wrong.

This time round it hit me harder than I thought.

Indeed I felt a sense of relief the moment it was over.

I thought I could cope well.

But later did I know the sense of loss crept in later.

I felt I lost a part of me.

The more I tried to put on a brave front.

The more upset I felt.

I followed every single advice Prof Tan gave.

But the more I followed,

The more upset I felt.

The more it reminded me that it was gone.

This time round you emerged as a warrior,

While I'm the loser.

I thanked you for the care and concern you gave during this period.

Thanked you for being there for me.

But I know deep down inside it will take some time for me to get over it.

As much as I want to be emtionally dependent on you,

I know I cant.

I know I am selfish to ask you to put the pursuit on hold.

But right now I know I still need you to be there for me.

Before I can give the blessings.

I'm really tired.

Its tough being strong.

I need a shoulder to cry and lean on.